The Land of Tomato King Tennant

Chapter Four

Hamster sighed. Jezza and Captain Slow had gone to find Matt Lucas and David Walliams and he had been ordered to recruit the Mock The Week crew.
Hamster didn't like them much. They kept making jokes about his accident. Plus, the guest panellists were never funny.
He entered the Mock The Week studio with a heavy heart.
Frankie Boyle looked up and said, "Look! It's Hammond! He was in a crash! LOL!" and the audience laughed.
Michael Macintyre said something unfunny.
Dara O'Briain had a rant about the Irish which was quite funny, if you could understand him.
Russell Howard made a penis joke and everyone laughed.
Hugh Dennis made a sarcastic comment.
Andy Parsons said something unfunny.
David Mitchell would have said something funny and anti-Conservative if he was there.
The weird annoying guest woman pissed everyone off.
"Hey guys!" said Hamster. "The great witches Leraiyah and Jemiyah are recruiting an army to hunt and capture David Tennant. They request your assisstance."
Frankie Boyle sighed. "I'm not helping. He's a fellow Scotsman and I think what you're doing is horrible."
Hamster consulted the paper Jemiyah had given him, 'What to say if they're pussies.'
"He told us that you weren't a real Scot and that you have a tiny cock under your kilt!"
". . . WHAT?" said Frankie, angered. "I'm in! LET'S GET THE BASTARD!"
Everyone else agreed, although Hamster told Andy, Michael and the annoying woman to stay, since "Leraiyah can't bloody stand you!"
And so, the army had grown.